Welcome. If you don't like random things this isn't the blog for you. I can also be found on Instagram at @delighttodelirium and twitter @delsrealm or suicidegirls.deliriumm. College Gofundme Http://www.gofundme.com/beh0m0
Amazon wishlist : http://www.amazon.com/gp/registry/wishlist/39MTU6S2ZR6SM/ref=cm_wl_huc_view
1. to never judge another based upon what she does with her vagina (sex or otherwise).
2. to always let help during a bathroom crisis (tampon? bobby pin? I got you).
3. to not immediately view every woman as competition.
I may still judge you because your outfit is fucked (I never said I was a saint), but this is my solemn vow.
On a Friday I attended orientation for college. The school is located in the middle of the city I’ve grown up in. The campus is literally part city and part school, all mixed up. An urban campus.
The first presenter was a police officer who told us lots of information about how to stay safe, tips on how to register our personal items (bikes, computers and text books) incase of theft and suggested downloading an app called “livesafe” to contact police to report scary things or connect with our friends via gps when walking to sketchy places. He also told us about a safety class (for women) to learn to defend ourselves. All very good and important information.
On Saturday evening I went outside my house to water my small garden, which I have done every single day for the past two months. I don’t live on campus, I live on a residential street (well it’s very close to the main roads, but normally quiet). As I was watering the plants a young guy walked up the sidewalk across the street. He was shirtless and carrying a plastic grocery bag. He crossed the street and walked over to my side of the street and stopped on the sidewalk at the edge of my yard. At this point I was wary, but not scared. People sometimes say hi or ask a question about my plants. He called over to me and asked what I was watering… I replied “tomatoes, squash and cucumbers” he then asked if he could take a look. Not wanting to be rude I said sure. He walked over and was standing about 3’ away on the other side of my small garden plot. He then asked “are you here alone” “do you have kids” “who stays here with you” to which I replied “no, I’m not alone” (which I was) “no, I have no kids” and “that’s for me to know” as I then began to back away towards the door he asked “are you not wearing a bra” … To which I replied “what” “what is wrong with you” (I was wearing sweatpants and a long sleeve t shirt. No bra) it’s 8:30pm and I’m outside my house for less than 10 mins watering my garden. I then said “this is MY yard” went inside and locked my door.
I am a 37 year old woman, I’ve been through quite a lot in my life. I travelled all over alone, I’ve lived in this house for 5 years and I’ve never been so shaken as I was then.
Sweating and visibly shaking I sat down to watch tv and see if I could calm myself. Maybe he’s just a little strange.
About 5 minutes later my doorbell rings. I AM NOT OPENING THAT DOOR. My dogs begin to bark. They are not small dogs by any means and usually if someone rings the bell, they leave shortly afterwards. I peek through the blinds. It’s him. I frantically begin to pace. What should I do? Just ignore him I think. The dogs finally stop barking. Maybe he left. The doorbell rings again, the dogs bark again. He’s not leaving! I go over near the window and I shout “stop doing that” he tries to ask a question, I believe he says “do you need anyone to do yard work” or something like that. I say “no, I don’t need anything” he continues to try to speak and asks more questions “I can trim the bushes, mow the lawn etc.” at this point I’m shouting “stop harassing me and just go away” he finally says ok and walks away.
"Am I overreacting" I think. I peek out the blinds. He’s standing at the edge of my yard. He’s looking at the house. He’s walking a few steps, he stops and looks around. I am nervous. I don’t feel right. Maybe he will go away. I walk to my room. I sit on the bed. "Is he gone" I go peek again. He’s in front of the house next door (no one lives there) taking things out of his plastic grocery bag. He looks around, shifts more items, looks around, takes a seat on the curb. "Ok, this is weird. I’m scared and this is not ok"
I call the non-emergency police line. I tell the operator what is happening. I feel like I’m overreacting, he hasn’t done anything has he? I feel weird. I’m nervous, sweating. My stomach hurts. They send a police officer. I wait. He’s still sitting on the curb, facing my house. I call my dad and tell him what’s happening, I’m inside behind locked doors with two large dogs and I don’t feel safe. I have to hear someone tell me it’s ok. A police officer shows up. He’s talking to the guy. Another officer shows up. I see them take ID from him. They are all talking. Another officer shows up. They give him back his ID. More talking. He leaves. The officers speak to eachother for a bit and then they leave one by one.
It’s now 7am on Sunday and I’ve been up all night, I’ve peeked out the window a few times. I’ve locked the doors (which I sometimes leave unlocked all together) I locked the deadbolt.
Am I overreacting? Maybe.
I’m an aware person, I pay attention to what’s happening around me. I walk with purpose, keep my keys out and ready and don’t type on my phone while walking. I’ve been around scary situations in scary parts of town. I live with my sister and don’t have a lot of people over.
I have never felt this scared, this vulnerable. He knows where I live. He knows I called the police on him.
I’m angry. I’m afraid to go outside during the day in my own yard. That is not ok.
Maybe I’ll take that self defense class this semester.